It all started after we decided to get married! People started asking me, you don’t eat non-veg right, so how will you cook for Beardo? Even I got tensed and asked Beardo, give me some time, I will try and learn to cook non-veg. He laughed, ‘you don’t need to do anything, if I want to eat, I can make for myself!’
Post that incident, my entire list of how to be a perfect woman and wife started taking a strange turn! First time when he made a perfect Maharashtrian meal for me was when I was on my periods. I was shocked to the core! He said, big deal, you are also learning to cook my style of food, right?
When I literally bragged about it in front of my family and friend circle, people congratulated me on being so lucky! Days passed and I realised, he is not doing it to impress me or anything. He is doing it because he treats me as equal in every sense possible!
He has been raised by a single mother who was one of the most strong women I know. So his views about women and their strength are very different than other men (Yes, I am talking about men in 2018 who still think that ‘Balancing career and home is important for a woman’)
Want a proof?
Simple example, even today all of us, while having a random conversation, tend to ask married girls, ‘So, do you cook at home or do you have a maid?’, But do we ask this same question to a guy? Mostly no, think about it! Why, do we do that? The answer is conditioning! For decades and generations, it’s been tattooed on our minds! And it reflects in a way society behaves even today. Inequality between the salaries of men and women, different rules and regulations for forming a friend circle, priorities for a 26 years old girl v/s 26 years old boy (FYI for a girl it’s always marriage).
We all want to be feminists and we all support feminism but how many of us actually know what is feminism? Struggle for Indian women is at a very different level when it’s about being a feminist! It’s just about having equal rights and responsibilities and opportunities.
I will do everything for my home! Cook, clean, take care of expenses, manage my maid’s schedule, but that’s because it’s my home, not because I am a woman! This is the difference that most of us don’t understand!
We run an open house! We have people over on weekends, and even on weekdays. So whose responsibility is it to be a good host? It’s a shared responsibility! Because we both understand it, it becomes so easy to manage work.
It’s time for us to stop appreciating a man who is working in the kitchen for the family or a woman who is heading an entire team of 50 people. It’s high time we normalise it! Show equality in our actions! Stop asking a woman how do you balance your career and home and kids, stop asking a man will you be OK if your wife continues working after marriage with so much travelling involved, stop appreciating a joint family where the son and daughter-in-law work for same hours!
We face so many issues in relationships or a marriage. Let them be about where to travel and how to manage our expenses, which school is best for the kids, which investment options are better and not be about whose responsibility is it to keep the cupboards clean and cook!
‘Feminism is all about equality, in our thoughts, actions and reactions. ‘I don’t need to shout it out loud if my actions show it’, Beardo said it to me last year while watching a women’s cricket world cup match and supporting team India when rest of us didn’t even know about the schedule of the matches! ‘I made a right choice, I am so lucky’, I said while feeling extremely proud of myself and then Beardo gave me a hopeless look! Oops I had done it again!
And, the speech that blew our minds in the beginning of this year!